A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried many experts, bt none of them could figure how 2 fix it.
Then they brought an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, & when he arrived, he immediately went 2 work. He inspected engine very carefully.
2 of d ship owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what 2 do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!
A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for 10,000 dollars.
"What?!"the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."
The man sent a bill that read: Tapping with a hammer: $2 Knowing where 2 tap: $9,998
Moral of story is:Effort is important, but knowing where 2 make an effort makes all the difference
Smart Doctor and His Treatment
A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one of her co-workers to recommend a physician.
"I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."
The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced. "I'm back!"
Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."
"I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."
The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced. "I'm back!"
Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
An Intelligent Question
While visiting India , George Bush is invited to tea with
Abdul Kalam. He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says
that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.
Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Kalam.
"Allow me to demonstrate."
Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime
Minister,
please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father
has a
child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir !"
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Kalam. He hangs up and
says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes Mr.
President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!" Bush, upon
returning to Washington , decides he'd better put the Condoleeza Rice
to
the test. Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleeza, I
wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"
Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father
has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is
it?"
Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back
to
you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves. Rice immediately calls a meeting of
senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours,
but
nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Rice calls
Colin
Powell and explains the problem.
"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and
this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."
Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush,
and
exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's our Colin
Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it ' s Manmohan Singh!"
Abdul Kalam. He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says
that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.
Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Kalam.
"Allow me to demonstrate."
Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime
Minister,
please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father
has a
child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir !"
"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Kalam. He hangs up and
says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes Mr.
President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!" Bush, upon
returning to Washington , decides he'd better put the Condoleeza Rice
to
the test. Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleeza, I
wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"
Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father
has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is
it?"
Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back
to
you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves. Rice immediately calls a meeting of
senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours,
but
nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Rice calls
Colin
Powell and explains the problem.
"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and
this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."
Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush,
and
exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's our Colin
Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it ' s Manmohan Singh!"
Great Indian Mom!
A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner...who lives with a girl roommate Sonia.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's, roommate was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his moms Thoughts, Kumar volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sonia and I are just roommates.'
About a week later, Sonia came to Kumar saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?' Kumar said: "Well, I doubt it,
but I'll email her, just to be sure.'
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney jar. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Kumar
Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read,
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sonia, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sonia. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.
Lesson of the day:
Don't Lie to Your Mother.... especially if she is Indian
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's, roommate was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his moms Thoughts, Kumar volunteered, 'I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sonia and I are just roommates.'
About a week later, Sonia came to Kumar saying, 'Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver chutney jar.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?' Kumar said: "Well, I doubt it,
but I'll email her, just to be sure.'
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney jar. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Kumar
Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read,
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sonia, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sonia. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.
Lesson of the day:
Don't Lie to Your Mother.... especially if she is Indian
The Less You Know, The More You Make
"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.
As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time
Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion:
The less you know,the more you make.
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.
As every engineer knows:
Power = Work / Time
Since:
Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
It follows that:
Knowledge = Work/Money.
Solving for Money, we get:
Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion:
The less you know,the more you make.
Marvellous answer
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.... ..
He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running ".
The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!! Please come over here for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.... ..
He said: "Try to do it when the engine is running ".
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